nooodesires | (no subject)

[Frowning and trying to get comfortable, twisting to look at your hand. Weirddddd.]

Having fantastic hair doesn't mean I always think about hairspray.

Yeah, but you could use hairspray in a number of dangerous ways that I wouldn't put past you.

[A chuckle.]

I mean it is flammable.

That's what I'm saying!

Except it would be stupid for me to make use of that since there's a high concentration of it on my own head.

[Setting his chin on your shoulder and giving you a judgmental frown.]

Think these things through, Eiji.

That doesn't help, you know. You could always wait till after you take a shower and then use it on me.

[Squinting.]

If you're worried I'm going to set you on fire with hair spray why are we here in this position.

I like to think it's worth it and you'll like it so much that you'll forget about any murderous urges you have against me.

[His face scrunches in something that might be amusement, but he promptly buries it in your shoulder.]

This doesn't make any sense. None of it.

[ he slides his fingers into your hair, petting you gently ]

Well, do you feel like killing me now?

[Please chirping.]

There's a distinct difference between stupidity-fueled anger and actual murderous intent.

Still, you don't feel like offing me or hurting me right now because it's comfortable and nice like this, right?

If you're trying to bribe me into niceties, yes, it's mostly working. It would help if you shut up.

[ zips his lips ]

[Settles again, but never stays still for very long. Eventually sits up and frowns at you, quirking his mouth.]

So how long did you say we've lived here?

Around six years give or take a couple of weeks.

[Taking his time digesting that.]

...six years. I guess that's a long time for a human, isn't it.

Yeah, it is.

[It's the approximation of a day to him, but it shouldn't be, because apparently he's human.]

[Still frowning, he twists his wrist and sets two fingers against it to feel for a pulse.]

[A moment later those fingers are on his neck, and he sets two of his other hand on Eiji's neck.]

...hm.

What are you doing?

Trying to decide where the most potent blood runs through your veins when I decide to reveal my true nature as a vampire.

[Deadpan.]

I'm feeling your heartbeat, idiot.

That's pretty kinky.

[Excuse him as he chokes on his own inability to inhale at those words leaving your mouth.]

That's-- what. No. You stop that. Not what I-- you know what I give up. You're too stupid for actual conversation.

[Getting up now.]

Hey!

[Sitting on you.]

It's true! How do you take your-- what are we, roommates? Domestic partners? Lovers? I don't even know the terminology. I've spent the morning having an existential crisis because as far as I'm concerned none of this is actually happening, and I check your pulse and all you can say is "that's kinky"? How has your species persisted for this long?