nooodesires | (no subject)

That's pretty kinky.

[Excuse him as he chokes on his own inability to inhale at those words leaving your mouth.]

That's-- what. No. You stop that. Not what I-- you know what I give up. You're too stupid for actual conversation.

[Getting up now.]

Hey!

[Sitting on you.]

It's true! How do you take your-- what are we, roommates? Domestic partners? Lovers? I don't even know the terminology. I've spent the morning having an existential crisis because as far as I'm concerned none of this is actually happening, and I check your pulse and all you can say is "that's kinky"? How has your species persisted for this long?

We've survived because we're apex predators.

Oh my God.

[Face in hands.]

I have no fucking idea how that happened!

Evolution.

Rhetorical question, stupid.

[Shifting and standing up now, and then promptly flopping to sit back on the edge of the bed.]

You're human too, you know.

[That's an audible swallow.]

...Yeah, I'm still getting used to that part.

You've been human for your entire life, Ankh.

[Turning around sharply to glare.]

Not in my memory.

Then what do you remember?

[How does he explain this. How does--]

[No. He doesn't. You don't explain this. He frowns, stares, opens his mouth, and then shuts it again, turning away.]

None of your business.

Thank you for telling me everything I need to know.

You wouldn't believe me anyway.

I'll believe that you believe it.

What does that even mean? "I'll believe that you believe it", so you'll believe that I'm crazy, because I remember a very different life story than what you're telling me is actually true. Don't patronize me.

Why do you have to put such a cynical twist to it? I'll believe you because you believe it, that's all. There's no negative connotations to it.

I'm not-- I've never been human, Eiji. I'm eight-hundred and-- [Rolls his eyes to the ceiling in thought.] --something like twenty-seven years old, assuming these six years of human domesticity you keep referencing come after we were unsealed. I don't even have a physical body like a human does, or a life. I'm a thing. You wanna tell me what part of that sounds like something a run of the mill human is going to openly believe?

But you're human now, right?

I don't--

[Why the questions that make his chest hurt.]

I don't know! How do you gauge that kind of thing? I mean-- I can't.

[Raises his right arm, shakes it a little.]

I actually never thought I'd see the day I can't control what I look like.

Is there anything I can do?

[Looks at him, turns and really actually looks at him, and is quiet for a full minute and a half.]

...tell me who I am, because I'm at the point I don't know if I believe myself anymore.

You're Ankh. We started out as friends for a year and then we started dating after I asked you out. We had a lot of ups and downs but we made it through them together before we decided to move in together.